It's been a year!

I started blogging exactly a year ago. Looking back at the time that passed by since then, I have doubts if blogging had any point at all. Of course sometimes it was very good to write things off my chest, but the entries I post are always far from complete. They reflect on things that happen to me only from one or two aspects. Anyway, I still think it has more pro's than contra's, so I'll keep blogging for a while.

This time, again, I won't promise anything for the New Year. I'll do my best to make the best out of everything that 2007 brings. My plans so far are:

• Traveling to Japan again in August, but this time 4 other Buyu will accompany me. Tho, I have no pale-lilac idea how I will get the money for this trip.
  
• Working hard on making up with all the missing things that I need to know at my new rank. Lots of private practice with RI, B and others, in addition to the regular trainings as well. I gave a year to myself to make up with the technical requirements of the first few "bb" levels.
  
• Not making the new training group. My former instructor will have to leave the prospective group around spring, so it means that I should take over the whole group around March. I am not ready for that yet. Not because of the personal part of the thing - I know how to direct people, I could even manage the dojo - but because first I need to polish my own knowledge in order to pass on any bit of it to anyone. I can't pass on something that is not entirely mine yet.
  
• Finding a job abroad, somewhere in Europe probably, but if I would be offered a job, I would not throw away the idea of working in Canada, the States or in Japan either. One thing is sure: I am leaving this country by January 2008 the latest. Cs. and me agreed that I go first and prepare the place for him too, but we also agreed that the time I spend abroad without him will be a great opportunity for me to be alone and to think over what I want or do not want. That'll be a retreat for me that I've been waiting for so much. And we'll see if the two of us are meant to stay together or not. I feel in my guts that it will be the best timing for me to go for this "retreat" at long last.

So these are my plans roughly. And many more smaller are in my pocket, some of which are of personal nature and concerns only one or two people, so excuse me for not publishing them :)

I truly hope all of us will manage our lives well in 2007. Probably significant things are to come, as there was a relatively strong and loud earthquake an hour ago, here, at the back of beyond, where we got used to quakes only in the "Great White Ware Bowl" after a good bean-goulash :-D hehe . The intensity was 4.1 by the Richter scales and the center was here, 10 km's away. There was a similar one in Hungay in 1956 and a few months later the revolution erupted. I wonder what this one is for.

Anyhow, I wish you all my dear readers a Happy New Year, and a very lucky and prosperous year of 2007.
And as always: if you need someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on, someone to help when no one else can / wants, I am here for you, do not forget that! ;-)

B.Ú.É.K!

Almost there...

It's almost Christmas. I've finished with packing all the Honey-bread cookies and the few gifts I will give to a few people.
In the past few years however Christmas Eve's and days were a bit lonesome despite that there are always people around me who call them my family. Yeah I know it sounds strange but recently my lonely wolf nature came to light more strongly. Sometimes I just want to be left alone, in peace, with noone around me.
It's strange but I miss me, and with it something else as well. I know it sounds strange but this is the best way to describe it. That's me.

Anyway, I will give the presents happily to those whom I respect, because I love to see them happy, and I like to see that I could actually do something that makes them feel good. I start it tomorrow by Cs. and me visiting mom and greeting her. Then the day after tomorrow we go to my hometown to visit a few people from my old family. I am sure I'll get the bashing again from grandpa for why I did not go to a Law School (he's so unbearably conservative and old stylish sometimes). Also, visiting dad and configuring the net for him. My sis, her child and my bro will come to our grandparents, so at least they'll also make some effort to meet us, not only we, like always.

So as you see, I have a nice number of people in my family.

Still I feel so alone... :'( It'd be so good to tell about my feelings to somebody, but there's no such person and the burden is getting heavier every year. Good that I have this blog, at least I can write out some of it. A little part.

Craziest days of the year

It's been the last day at work today, but during these three days I've worked more than I usually do in a week.
I almost finished with all the X-mas shopping, however this year, just like a year ago, I did not make big fuzz about the whole thing. I have so many relatives and friends whom I'd like to greet that it is impossible to surprise all of them even with a small present
So people will get Honey-bread again that I make, and a nice scented candle.

I am getting more and more disgusted every year seeing how the crowds are loosing their minds from running after their dreams that they try to purchase in the name of Christmas. It's almost a race for whose present is more expensive. And of course everyone gets frustrated, tensed; trams, buses and the metro are full like cans with sardines, and of course some pretty nice swears fly by above your head. Hungarians are famous of their tawdry cursing. Then I just roll my eyes "Cool, the less days are there until Christmas Eve, the farther on we get from what it is really about".

Anyway, maybe I am too exhausted and that's why I'm grumbling so much nowadays. I feel that a two weeks long break would be so fine now. But it does not look like a close thing to come: I have to go to mom tomorrow again to do some shopping for her and then chop wood again :-/. I am curious how I will be able to do that tomorrow - I feel so much burnt out even now, that I can almost feel the smell of the smoke. J/K. Clumsy, eh?

I dedicated Friday for Honey-bread making, at least those few hours when I'll be free. I have an appointment at the dentist - last night a filling fell out of a tooth of mine and it also broke the tooth itself, so it has to be checked urgently, before the holidays. Of course, it's a Murphy's Law that it happens now when the dentist hardly has a few free minutes for me.

Anyway, after the dentist back to home continuing with Honey-bread making, then going to theater in the evening with Cs. Then next morning leaving early for Tar, visiting the Lama and greeting the guys in the Buddhist Center upon X-mas. They also get some Honey bread of course :-) (No human can ever evade his destiny: having some Honey-bread a'la Eva ]:-) Ha-Ha-Ha.

Sooo... now time to go for the nice smelling hot bath int he bathroom and hit the bed.
Maybe I'll make a cup of hot chocolate (sugar-free of course) and will be sipping it slowly in the warm bed, thinking about the good times when I was young and fresh and cheerful and adorable and energetic and full of all kinds of hopes and... *sigh* :-)

Gingerbread smelling days

Huh, damn puter... I've put down everything and it all vanished who knows why. Cool, I can start it all over again. Sooo, quickly:

I've spent just 2 hours packing all the gingerbread cookies for my friends yesterday after work. By the way, we call them honey-bread as the base of the cookie is honey and there's not even a grain of ginger in it. Then spent another 1 hour at the Post Office. 20 minutes queuing, then when it finally got to me, and asked the lady how much they are, she said it was 900 HUF (it makes about 3,5 Euro). It was suspiciously cheap. So I asked when will they arrive? She said "3 days". "By airmail?" "To overseas???" I asked. I was pretty sure that there is some serious misunderstanding here, and sure it's not the Hungarian Post Office Service which does such a great job. Then she stared at me and it turned out that I screwed up the addressing, and put my name in the "recipient" field. Had she not noticed this, I would have received all the parcels I sent by tomorrow.
So I had to crawl back again to the desks, fight for some free seats and address all the parcels again. (So guys, don't laugh too much if you find some layers of labels on the wrapping of the boxes :-P ). Queuing for 20 more minutes and finally the boxes were on their ways. I hope you guys can receive it in time ;-)

Needless to say, I was 2 hours late from the meeting with my very first instructor. But he was patient :)
I went up to his place, had some wine and we talked about the prospective dojo which now seems less and less likely to be opened. It seems that he may have to relocate to his hometown soon and since I will also go abroad for work in January 2008, it may not be a responsible thing to open a dojo. Anyway, we will discuss it in January again when he'll know more about his future.

Today at training B. and me pulled away to practice a bit of Koku, Renyo, Danshu, Danshi and Keo from JRNM.
It was the same at the previous training as well, for which I was very grateful because I could concentrate on polishing my own skills. It's interesting to see how much the point of these techniques is not the technique itself, but the principle that it applies. All of them are different on one way, and although Keo for example is simple, it is still not easy to do it correctly. You can not do it correctly if you don't understand and apply the principle of the movement.

Anyhow, I'm very tired now, so time to hit the rack.

Later more.

Rush and thoughts

I am curious what this weekend will bring.

Yesterday I left my office early as I attended the consecration of a new huge and very imposing Budo center in Budapest. It's a shame that there were only a few visitors, which was probably due to the early starting time.
We started the ceremony at 4 and finished almost at 6, so at the end I had to make it fast to the furniture shop to find a good and payable bed.
No luck tho. I had only a few minutes to look around before the shop closed.
Another rush to catch the train to home. By the time I arrived I was quite exhausted.

I was planning to attend a seminar in Hungary today and just before going to sleep I called RI to ask about the schedule so that I can leave in time this morning, but it turned out that the seminar was cancelled and only belt-tests will be held. Oh well, that's my luck.
Probably I should not have checked my mails after all these, and then I would not have sent cranky responses to a few people. Anyway, what's done, done. I hit the bed.

Now everyone is gone (thank God) and I'm alone here today.
Probably I am going to make the usual X-mas gingerbread-cookies which I usually send around X-mas time to a very few friends of mine abroad. I like kitchen work because it always gives me a good opportunity to arrange my thoughts. Right now I'm dealing with one which is on my mind periodically, since quite a while.
Have you ever had to restrain yourself for a longer period of time not to tell something important to someone? If yes, for how long could you do that?
How do you deal with things which are very important for you to share and affects the other person, but you can probably never tell to her/him otherwise s/he will disappear from your life? Sometimes I feel that maybe I should not care that much, just go ahead and tell it, and whatever happenss, that happens. I'll see. So this is the Knot of Gordius.

Anyway, time to go and buy some honey and start making those wonder--cookies. If you behave well (and send me your postal address in case I did not have it), you may also get some :)

It's my life

This morning Cs and I had a passionate discussion about having a family vs. not having.

If I look around in my near environment, I see the normal everyday Hungarian families where both parents live in a treadwheel.

Given that the financial situation is very far from good in this country, if you want to have a flat and if you don't have a rich relative from whom you could inherite an immovable, your only possibility to obtain a flat is taking a huge bank loan with really bad conditions. For 20-25 years the monthly installments of repaying the loan takes at least 50% of your salary. It means that you will be (almost literary speaking) a slave of the bank for 20-25 years. 95% of people put themselves into this yoke, but this is one thing that I am not willing to do.

The other thing is the child. I am really getting more and more annoyed and tired of hearing people asking me about my plans about having children. When I tell them "No thanks, maybe later", they keep bugging me bringing up my age and such stupid justification as "A child is important, that's the point of life". Well, thanks but I absolutely do not share this view.

Call me immature or deviant, but I honestly think that first: I have enough probles even without a kid, so I don't think I should make loads more for myself. Secondly: I don't want to put myself into a really miserable financial situation at these unstable times. Third: I really think many of those who think they are ready to bring up another life, are really not ready as a person. Honestly: how do you want to take the responsibility of bringing up another human being when you do not know even yourself? Honestly: do you know yourself? Can you trust your knowledge about life? I really think majority of the populatin is just too quick jumping into this child project. At least in Hungary. Here every 2nd marriage ends up with divorce. And I did not mention ruined marriages where the parents don't divorce just because the child is there. People jump into these decisions too quickly, without being honest to themselves and thinking it over thoroughly.

And the fourth reason: I know that I may sound very selfish and such, but I really don't want to loose different opportunities to get involved in what I like. Training, travelling freely if I want, going out when I want, just to mention a few. I think having a child would cross over all these least for a few years. No thanks, it does not worth for me.

That's why I did not jump into this flat project yet and that's why I don't have child either and I less and less intend to have one. That's what I think now. And what future brings? Who knows?

But I would really appreciate if people could leave me alone with this question. Like our neighbour. The other day we took the same train and she asked when on Earth I want to have child, as I am already turning into 32. I really had to restrain myself not to say something rude. I really hate when people or society "expect" things from me and thus they feel justified to intrude into my private life.

Also, at the beginnings when my parents started mentioning this issue I told them about my views firmly. It seems tho that they did not get this hint, so when they kept bugging me for longer and again and again, after a while I simply told them: "If you want to have a grandchild, solve it yourself. I don't want to ruin my life."

I really hate this kind of speach but nothing else works.

Since then they never mentioned it :-D

Life is expensive

Yesterday I visited mom again to chop some wood for her and to greet her on her b-day. She's 54 and does not look good at all :-( Life tortured her quite much but honestly I think in most of the cases she can blame only herself. The rest of the unlucky events always came from out of the blue. It seems that trouble always finds her somehow. I never believed in such before, but recently I really started to suspect that there is some curse on her or what... I will try to find out what's going on because the most unbelievable unfortunate events happen with her, some of which could even win a prize like the Darwin-prize, and at the end it is always me who has to pull her out from the troubles. I can do it at the moment but I am getting tired of it and I started to exhaust my financial resources. It's really annoying that I am not able to plan my life financially on a long run because I have to spend huge amounts on making sure she can survive financially. Anyway, she got a wonderful King-Lilly bouquet now. I spent there a few hours and then came back home.

Today I summarized my realized and forthcoming expenses for December and I almost got a heart attack. I have to spend almost 1000 Euro this month which is a smaller fortune for me. This is my monthly gross salary. Gross!
Monthly tickets for local transportation in Budapest and the monthly train tickets, food, apartment rental fee, internet, travel back to my hometown for Xmas, my monthly repayment to the bank for the loan I took for the Japan trip, training fee, seminar fee for February with T. F., airplane tickets, accommodation... and the huge extra: need to buy a new bed because the current foam mat I sleep on, completely lost its shape. Now there's a huge hole in the middle which means that my back and neck is in continuous tension during the night. I have not been able to have a good sleep since about I returned from Japan. (Oh, that mat was so cool!) So this new bed-project will pull away an extra 200 Euro from my wallet.

If it goes on like this, it will be a real miracle if I will be able to make it to Japan in next August.
I need to find a solution to save money for the trip. But URGENTLY.

A pinch of responsibility

I was asked to hold the first part of yesterday's training because IR was supposed to be late, due to their military-exhibition at the Expo. I left my office half an hour earlier so that I can be there in time and start the training. A few minutes before 5.30 pm IR arrived so at the end the training started up normally. However after the warmup and ukemi part he asked me to take over the group while he pulled aside with one of the beginners who was supposed to take his test in a week.

Since all the guys were complete beginners (except for B who's an ikkyu), I tought it was a perfect opportunity to go through the very basics, like kamae and the basic punches.

We did Ichimonji and Ihen no kamae, the transition from one into the other, and also covered Fudo ken, Omote and Ura Shuto, Boshi ken. We also started learning jodan uke. The guys are all good and enthusiastic.

There are two guys who came about two weeks ago with their incredible idea of what a ninja is like. Also, they have a little problem behaving the way they should in the dojo. They tend to think that everything is allowed (even refusing to do what the instructor tells them to) just 'cos the athmosphere is friendly. But soon some kento and long minutes spent in Ichimonji made it clear to them that they're there for learning and not for having fun. Yesterday one of them was missing (I wonder if it's permanent or temporary :-) ), but the other guy seems to take training seriously. We'll see.

There's also one guy who has serious difficulties with his movement-coordination, but he is unbelieveably diligent and motivated. So I'll have to pay some extra attention to him.

Also, I spoke a few words about my present situation, not going too deeply into details as first of all, given that they're complete beginners, they're not familiar with how things are in Bujinkan. Second, because I don't want anyone to form any negative opinion about anybody affected in this issue. I told them that I don't know for how long I am staying, and the other day I also asked them to not call me "Sensei", but call me on my name instead.

Anyway, IR is kind of throwing me in the "deep water" sometimes, when he asks me to take over the group for a while. At least that's what I feel. Maybe it does not hurt because since then I've recognized a few things in my own taijutsu that I have to work on. Also, it's a good insight to see what it is like when people expect a certain level of knowledge and guidance at this rank.

One thing even now I know for sure: whatever rank I will ever get from this point on, I will never make it public, not even in my own circle of friends. It may be understood as a kind of "escape" from responsibility, but it's rather that:

• I don't want people to treat me the way they do because of the rank I have. I want them to like me for myself and to be my friend because I am who I am

• I want to preserve the privilege to be allowed to learn and to be a student, and not always expected to do everything perfectly. I don't envy the very high level instructors. If a person with their rank makes some mistake (just because we are all humans), they're judged much more than "everyday" people. They're kind automatically put on a pedestal.

One of my friends (S.) does it very well. Noone (except for a very few people I think) knows his actual rank. We just know that he took the "Big Swing" about 6-7 years ago or so. Now I understand why he did not make it public and I very much agree with it. (Btw, S, what's your rank? :-D )

Concerning the training group that is supposed to start up in January: I still need to discuss some details with my very first instructor. It was his idea to start the group and asked me to help in that. I don't know how my life will be, but it's very likely that I will go abroad in a year for work, so we really have to clarify what kind of role he was counting with for me in the prospective dojo.

Boorish children

This early morning I was riding the train to work in the same coach with a bunch of teens who might not have been more than 16 but really pissed our heads off. They listened to music on their mobile phones so loudly that there was a painful noise in the coach. Just imagine when there is techno and gypsy-wedding-pop howling from two different radios on full volume in a closed coach full of sleepy people, early in the morning. And it was not the first case, whenever I met them on the train they behaved the same, not caring about the other passengers who at the end went nearly crazy.

Anyway, just as usual, now again after a while a middle aged lady went to them and asked them to turn the volume down as it was very annoying. They turned it down but made all sorts of comments. 3 minutes later the noise was on again.
Luckilly it was my stop soon so I thought "I don't have to listen to this hoopla any longer, thank God". They also started to prepare for getting off and started playing around, which meant that they were throwing and pushing each other all around, not letting us, other passangers put on our coats. It was more than enough for everyone.

While I tried to squeze myself out from among them towards the exit, I told them to stop this behaviour. Walking further I heard that they commented it and discussed loudly why everyone is criticising them. Then I turned back and told them on a harsh and loud tone so that the whole coach can hear it, that maybe they should think a bit about others' criticism because probably those have a good reason. Also, they should control themselves a bit more because there are 40 other people in the same coach. And then at last they went silent. But I guess it was rather because of the public humiliation than because they were considering what I said.
It seems that these children can not understand any other language.
And it was just a very slight case. Teenage children nowadays went way too cheeky I think. They hit the teacher in the school, they argue their parents who can not take control over them. Or if they get a bad mark in the school thay send the family's "bulls" onto the teacher in the evening and "convince" her/him to give better marks to the child. Or the other day I saw a little boy (could not have been more than 10 years old) SMOKING! Incredible! What a world?!

I always wonder how we got to this far? How come teenagers nowadays can behave like this, without any respect or minimal attention towards others? When I was a teen, althought I did not belong to any groups, but even those who were the hard core were not this cheeky and had such a behaviour. Were those different times? Was it because we had good teachers? Because we had strict parents? Because they had no problem giving a f...ing huge slap in the face when we made some stupid thing or did not behave well? Or is it just me getting older and more and more conservative and cranky as years go by?

I think a root of this problem is the lack of proper education both at home and in the school.
Parents don't have time to actually educate their child. They bring them up, but don't teach them for life, don't show them good example. Why? Probably because they have no energy for that beside their work, and we have to admit: even majority of the adults have no f...ing clue how to live life correctly. Of course such a person can not upbring and educate a small human being either. Respect for those few exceptions I saw. But these exceptions were all from either Budo or from deeply religious (mainly Buddhist) circles.

Anyway, I am very glad that I don't have children. I think I am not prepared for facing such difficulties yet. Bringing up another person means a very big responsibility and requeries a whole person (or better two :-) ).

It goes on

I've been so busy recently! There are some major changes in the IT unit of my uni so I have a lot of things to do and help with, regarding new IT projects. I hardly have time to have lunch, I have so much work that my fingers almost grew to the keyboard. But at the end I always tear out myself for a while from that mind-killing environment and have a little rest.

I did not manage to chop up all the wood the other weekend. Mom asked me to help her with the big monthly shopping, so I was her slave, struggling with huge shopping bags while going home (she does not have car at the moment). So next weekend I have to finish with the leftover of the wood. The puppy dogs are lovely, 3 of them already have owners, we still need to find somebody for the three others.

I received my certificates from Japan a week ago. I put them away safe, making sure they won't get damaged or dirty, and continue training.

At the moment I train at a friend's dojo. We've been friends for many years and he graciously allowed me to train in his dojo, in fact, he allowed me to practice the way I want to. I really love the environment of his dojo, it is friendly, familiar and modest. Also, both he and his dojo is quite open for new things. The things he teaches and the way he teaches is good as well, so I am very happy that I have such a place to regularly train at.
I gave myself time until next August to make up with the missing things I need to know at least up to Shodan.
Some of the things are still kind of a "big mass" to me, like which kata belongs to which ryu-ha, what is the most important difference between the way a certain kata is done by different ryu-ha. And other semi-theoretical stuff like this. Somehow these things were never taught to me, at least never in a clearly visible system.

I want to see clearly, and also this friend of mine (I.) said he needs to practice more serious stuff too, but since he started teaching he does not have much time to actually train for himself during the trainings. So we agreed to designate an additional afternoon weekly to practice together some of the advanced stuff. I offered him my body as an Uke for the things he needs to practice, he in return helps me to get over and clarify all the kata and techniques systematically up to Shodan. I have my old syllabus, so we can follow that.
Right now I am studying again an SFR manual I got from a good friend in this March. Everything is written there on a systematized way, so it's much easier to see it through than any other note I ever tried to take.

Beside my great need of softer training methods, I also need to practice the "hard stuff", so I keep attending D's seminars next year as well. The things he teaches are really effective and convincing things, and I don't like to fool myself. I think if we want to have a good understanding of taijutsu and want to be able to bring out the most of ourselves, we have to study both the softest and the hardest form and find the balance somewhere in between.
Sometimes people don't understand why I say that I want to practice softly, when sometimes it's clearly visible that "I like it rough". Or the other way around.
Well, people, because I don't like to practice only the soft way, or only the hard way. I want to know both sides.

System upgrade

Due to the fact that recently I've been very busy at my office and Cs. is changing the operating system on the machine at home day by day, I was not able to sit down and write my blog in the past days.
As soon as I will get a little chance to get a constant hold of the keyboard, I'll go on. Patience!
(You might have got used to that with me anyways :-) ) Thanks.

Weekend rush

I am trying hard ot find out how to embed the code of the visitor counter into this new template, but I still could not find it out and it is giving me more and more headache. Since the time I have changed to this new template I have not been able to see how many visitors I had, from where etc. It annoys me a bit when I can not get control over some things :-)

The other day I saw an ad at the uni where I work at, about a public lecture. Its title was "Freemasonry and Radical Traditions in England". It looked like an interesting one and I planned to listen to it but just when I left for the lecture I noticed that my mobile phone was gone. I have been running around all the places in the uni hoping to find it but never found it in the building. It gave me quite a hassle as I had a few hundred phone numbers in it, many of which were unreplacable numbers of some foreign buyus and some importan people. At the end I have run over to the neighbour building where last time I had been to around noon. It turned out that I left my phone there. At least it was not stolen.
But this hassle was just enough for completely missing the lecture, so it was a real bummer. I think it was not without a reason. Probably it was not time for me yet to listen to these things.

Today after work I have met a friend of mine and we went to an Aztec Chocolate Bar to celebrate our birthdays. We have our B-days on the same day, on the 14th, with a month difference. I had some great Spicy Hot Chocolate with Chilly Paprika. It was as thick as honey, so it was a real sin ]:-)

I think I will skip tomorrow morning's training. I am about burning out for this week, dead tired and exhausted. I feel the lack of sleeping from last weekend (but the seminar did worth it ;-) ). However if I think about that tomorrow I will have to go again to chop up about 200 Kg of wood for mom, so that she can fire it in her iron stove - I really need some sleep before I leave. In the past one month I went to her every weekend and chopped wood after training, but tomorrow's will be a bigger amount than usually it is.

Also she said she had "guests" in the garden in the pile of wood: RATS. I have to move over the whole stuff to another part of her garden so that the rats can not move into the flat so easily. Puppy dogs have just been born 2 weeks ago and I have to make sure the rats won't catch them.

So, busy day is to come tomorrow. Sometimes I feel it would be better to live together with mom so that I can take care of her more easily. It is pretty difficult to help her on a daily basis when I have to travel to her for two hours, both directions. In the same time I am quite sure we would not be able to bear with each-other for too long :-))*sigh* but my conscience... She did a lot for me while I was a child and it is time to return it. I wish I could make her life easier... She deserves it.

Hojo-jutsu seminar

Last weekend a few of us visited our fellow buyus in Croatia to attend a Hojo-jutsu seminar.
This is quite a rarely taught part of our art, as far as I noticed. This is the second time I managed to attend a seminar focusing on how to tie up others the way we do with the Easter-ham.
We went by my ex-instructor's car (however I feel quite strange when I say ex-instructor - I still feel very close to him and he will always remain my instructor). Despite my worry over how our "common" journey to Croatia will be, it was quite a pleasant weekend. We had good conversations about human relationships.

Anway, back to the seminar:
After we arrived, changed and entered the dojo I saw a pile of all sorts of ropes with all kinds of nasty-looking endings. A real delicacy for a sneaky girl like me. There were many girls by the way - more than usually are at D's seminars. So the guys were happy this weekend :-)

As a start D talked about the origin of Hojo-jutsu and about some other historical facts. He did not go too deeply into this part as we had a lot of things ahead to do and the time was very limited.

After the theoretical part we were taught how to carry the ropes and how to wrap them, so that they don't hinder in our movements, still we can easily pull them out and use if necessary. Then we started knotting, first just very basic knots, and then basic tie-up methods, applied to hands, ankles, to both hands and ankles, to neck and other parts of the body. Yes, to @ss as well :-).
By the end of the first half of the second day we covered all the most important basic tieing methods. At first I had to concentrate hard on when, how, and from what direction to make the knots, but after a little while I managed to quickly pick up what D. demonstrated and could do the knots fairly easily.
I was especially happy with learning that famous choking tie-up, when you are bent backwards and your feet are tied together, also your wrists, behind your back, and both your tied feet and hands are connected with the rope, which is in addition looped around your neck. So if you try to move your feet and hands, the loop gets pulled more around your neck.

At the end of the second day we had a taste of how to work with the rope during a fight. What D empahized is that we should never try to use the rope, but rather rely on our taijutsu, and be happy if there is an opportunity to control things with the rope. You have to kind of forget about the rope, just move and soon you will realize that the opponent looks like a (nice, smoked-smelling) Easter Ham.

This principle is very much alike to what H. Sensei told us in Japan during a training of knife-fight. He said we should not intentionally use the knife. The stabs and cuts should happen by themselves, arising from the situation. It's hard to describe with words, but it was easy to understand when he demondstrated it. Let the "toy" work by itself.

Anyway, summing up the seminar I have to say it was a real delicacy for me. I really did not know anything about Hojo-jutsu - now at least I know what I need to work on. After returning to Hungary a Hungarian buyu asked me whether or not I would have attended the seminar if I had a very detailed DVD. I said yes, indeed. It's one thing to see the rope on someone, and another to feel them almost cutting your flesh. Then you can really know what you can and can not do or how it can confuse you in a fight when your opponent is "armed" with a rope.

Since all the Hun guys had Hun partners, I had to pick unknown partners (which I like to do at foreign smeinars btw). So during the two days I've been working with 3 guys and a girl, all of them Croatian. It was nice to experience their kindness. The guys I've been working with made some (I guess) funny comments in Croatian whenever I was busy tieing up one of their mates. It seems that they liked it, too :-)

Well, if I think about women and men and ropes and ties... this is really an exciting issue :-D

New wrapping

As you see my blog got a new dress. It seems that Blogger realized at last that they were way behind the other blogger sites with regards to custom design options availability.
Anyway, I changed the look of my blog, and since I found majority of the stuff I was painfully missing until now, I decided to wait a bit with moving the whole stuff to another blogger site. I wanna check out what exactly this one can offer now.

Until then stay tuned, the summary of the Croatian Hojo-jutsu seminar (which was by the way great) and my thoughts about travelling to the Land of The Rising Sun for training will come in a few days, as soon as I will have a litle time to sit down and beat the hell out of the keyboard.

Back from the fog...

I know I disappeared for too long. Life's like this.
I am thinking about moving over to another provider - tho I dunno to which one. I keep looking.

Today I've got the news that a colleague of ours died because of brain-haemorrhage.
It hit me a bit like a surprise, as this guy (52) was one of my greatest admirers at my workplace - I always got some compliments from him, which became more and more annoying lately, but all in all he was a cool person.

Majority of the Hungarian population dies because of cardiovascular diseases, and the reason is somewhere both in the unhealthy nutritional habits and in the lack of doing some sports.

So this death-notice made me think about death again. We can never know when "our time" will come.

This weekend I go to Croatia for Hojo-seminar. By car. Hmm.
I would be more than happy to return to Hungary alive and healthy...

I still owe an email to my Canadian buddy but I could never really make it to putting myself and my thoughts together and write a decent letter. But sometimes I just feel I need to disappeare from the eyes of the public and withdraw into my private sphere, into the deepest solitude of a cave, and to be only with myself.
Eh, rambling again :)

Time to run for training...

Back on track again

It seems that I was right when I thought time heals a lot of wounds.
I feel that I am gaining back my balance and now I have a clearer perspective regarding my future in training.
Time to stand on my own feet it seems. Soke now made sure I won't rest on my ass anymore, in the laboratory-environment of a dojo, in safety, under the protecting wings of somebody. Now I have to do for my own learning and whether I manage or fail will depend only on me from now on.
So now I was forced to face LIFE. I will manage, there is too much to loose.

This last weekend I was in my hometown partly to visit my family, but this time more importantly because the guys from my old dojo asked me to show them what I saw and learnt in Japan. (By the way I think it's interesting that noone from my dojo - which I have just left - asked me about my trainng experiences.)
I was so happy to see them again - we spent a great day together and been training for about 6 hours. I really appreciated their opennes and patience.
Although I have moved to Budapest about 12-13 years ago, we still remained good friends and we always enjoy trainng together. I think deep down I remained a member of that dojo :-).
Very probably next year their instructor is coming to Japan with me - I can't wait to show him everything there. I hope some more of them will also join us :-)
So the Saturday was cool, we trained outdoor at the Big Forest (a wonderful and huge forest in Debrecen).
We covered some ukemi a'la Sh. sensei, some balance play also from him, some knife-play by Soke and Ten no Kata, a'la N. sensei.
The guys were very good and porductive, we 've put a lot of emphasis on softness and softness and softness and on different henka by everyone's own interpretation. It was rather a kind of "physical brainstorming" :-)
We all were dead tired by the end of the afternoon, so we went home and then met up again for a nice dinner. There I talked a bit about the things that happened, as I owe them this so they can see clearly - we've been real buddies for long years after all.
Unfortunately I had to shoot out myself after 2 hours at 22 pm as my grandparents stayed awake only to be able to let me in the house at night.

This weekend did not leave too much time to be spent on my family. This is the first time when I felt the responsibility - and I am glad that my family understood it and they accepted.

So now I am back to the everyday work, and preparing for attending seminars in Hungary and around the country. And for other things as well which are still invisible in the fog of future yet. But they're there :)

An interlude...

Hyatus again, yes I know.
I am putting together a brief-detailed summary about each instructor I trained with during my stay in Japan, and also about the things I talked about with fellow budokas whom I have met there. But it takes some time. One by one, step by step. So patience please, my dear fellows.

First I need to survive "the storms of the present" and it requires all my strength and will to stay alive. I never thought things would get this far. At least my conscience is absolutely clear. I am getting tired - but I can't give it up.
Again, just like so many times in the past one year, but this time maybe even more: Soke's words keep me alive and give me strength:

"...the concept of persevering to the end, of keeping on going, no matter what, to the very very end. ........ To continue to the very very very end, without giving up. And so Sensei sees some difficult times ahead of the Bujinkan, but if we continue on with the concept of Gambatte or To Keep Going in mind, then we will be successfull"

There is no other option.

Japan - the beginnings

First of all let me jump back to Friday night. After training we returned to T. guesthouse, where K., S's girl welcomed us on the balcony all frightened by a crazy dying cicada (these are really huge monsters in Japan).
S. took all his bravery and entered their apartment, while James and me entered ours.
After the successful cicada-hunting (we guess) S. and K. were kind enough to invite poor starving us for dinner at their place.
As soon as we finished the dinner my long-awaited dream came true: S. and K. took us to a karaoke bar nearby. Well, K. has a really beautiful voice and S. has no reason to feel ashamed about his, either! I tried singing but I reeeaally sucked. James probably had some kind of self-knowledge so he did not even try :-).
After the one hour was over we went back home and hit the beds.

Aug 5. - Saturday

James kicked me out of the bed - it was about time for preparing and leaving for S's trainging in Toride. We met S. at the stairs and left for the train station quickly. Hit Strabucks for a quick breakfast (hey I really liked that place - too bad, they're not in Hungary) and then went for the sportscenter for training. I've been sweating like a horse there, it was soooo humid. But the training itself was great, kind of energizing. I managed to get some training with some Japanese guys too, and I could whop a bit JG's ass as well (well, it was rather a kind of mutual thing). I was surprised to see how quickly the training ended (2 hours).
Then we went for some lunch - finding the right place required an hour of marching - it seemed to me at least. S. meanwhile shot himself out for home to help K. preparing for the evening BBQ party, while we headed to Sh. sensei's training in Kasukabe.

That was a huge sports complex, with great tatami halls. Again - killer heat and humidity.
Anyway, Sh. sensei was waving to us with a huge smile from the other side of the hall, so we quickly changed to our (still sweaty) gi and joined them on the mat.
I liked his trainings very much.
He always started with some light "play around" as a warmup - kind of went through the last techniques shown by Soke. He always demonstrated diffferent nasty, err... sorry.. "sneaky" techniques :-) and tricks (like pinches, twsits, grabbing methods, small but significant movements to play with balance), and he graciously allowed each one of us to feel it on our own skin.
After the first half an hour training went more intensive. First some ukemi training. Lotsa-lotsa ukemi :) I really like his ukemi - it is so continuous, like a flow, and the whole body is under control even during the roll. First just slowly, from a static position, then from moving. I loved it. There was one guy (Duke) whose ukemi I especially liked - he did it very well I think.
After the ukemi part was over we skipped through to the stuff we did last night with Soke. Some throws.
Interesting... I remember rather the feeling than the techniques we did. It was all about softness and balance, if I was not mistaken.
In the middle of the training there was a "tea & cookie" break (this time without tea). Sh. sensei brought a lot of strange cookies: one side was salty, while the other one was sweet, but it was nice. Then some training again and after cleaning up the tatami we went to change back. I was so grateful to fate for being able to have a nice shower afterwards - it was better than ever before.

After leaving the sportscenter our group of about 8-10 aimed Abiko to attend the BBQ party, where S. so irresponsibily invited us to.
Arriving to Abiko we split up to two groups, and I took 2 Finnish and 2 Japanese guys with me to help shopping as a contribution to the party.
After we got back to the apartment I took over S's kitchen and made Goulash Soup (Gulyás Leves) for 25 guests. I think it turned out very well and by the time the party-mood reached its top, the soup was ready and served - needless to say it was a great success :-) I am afraid I drunk a bit too much as I remember receiving some evil smiles from the guys.

After the last guests left after 22 pm and I got somewhat sober again, the "S&K Duo", one Finnish guy, JG, 2 Japanese guys, Saar and me decided to go for karaoke. We found a cool place at the other end of Abiko and spent there nearly 5 hours or more. Saar left pretty early as he did not really like karaoke, at least not the way JG and the Fins did it :-) Well, he's a real artist, with a very sensitive hearing I think :))) At the end we stumbled home around 6.30 am, which along with my terrible hangover made it impossible for me to attend the Sunday classes.
I can't remember ever having such a crazy party-night before :-)

Soooo... as you see I was not bored on the first few days.

The upcoming days will not be described in such detailes, probably cos I went back to "normal" and those were more balanced times with heaps of trainings and conversations with other buyus every day.
So the next entry will be focused more on the "professional" experiences - but I found this social-life aspect also a very important part of being a member of the Boojie community.

Stay tuned!

Japan - arrival day

Okay, back, after a semi-long break.
So you wanna hear something about my trip to Japan? Do you really want to? Okay, here it is.
I will write about it in more parts to keep you interested and also to avoid endless entries on this blog page.

All in all, I can say that it's been a kind of "wake-up trip" for me; it opened my eyes on many ways, mostly training-wise.

Aug 3.
After packing up everything in the morning and having a good breakfast I left for the airport by walk (I live nearby).
I was lucky to arrive early enough to be the 3rd person in the check-in queue, which is really an issue if you have to take two flights in 24 hours, and the second one is a 11 hours long flight. I told to the lady at the check-in desk to gimme a seat next to a corridor and as far from the window as possible. Also, no wings please. So I had to swallow the thoughts which came to my mind when after boarding I realized that I am sitting just next to a window, and if I want to stand up a bit, I have to crawl over two people. Anyway, I told my neighbours (a Jap guy and a British girl) to be prepared for that I'll be moving a lot. They did not have any objection against it (I am wondering if I was way too explicit :-) )
The flight to Amsterdam was veeery shaky due to the bad weather above all Europe - they even stopped servicing. Arriving to Amsterdam "Shithole" I realized that I had only 10 minutes to get over to the other end of the airport for checking in for the plane to Tokyo, so I was running like a madman. Luckilly there were too many passengers waiting there so I arrived in time.
That flight was very good, although I almost tore up the tapestry from the chair - I was so nervous. I won't ever be able to get used to flying. I flew KLM, it was very convenient (even with my wrong seat), time went by with watching movies, playing a bit on the built-in computer and fighting for a little sleep, which I could not make despite taking some tranquilizers.

Aug 4.
Arrived to Narita in the morning, a few minutes before the due time. That airport looked completely abandoned - not a single spirit floating around, except for us. At the customs section the lady asked for my letter of invitation. I was kind of surprised and told her I did not have any - I came for Budo training. She nodded and had let me go. (Did she get scared?)
After leaving the airport I tried to find the train line I was supposed to take to Abiko. Found it pretty easily and took the trains.

I arrived to Abiko around 1 pm and called S. to ask whether or not I should wait for his lift. When I heard his sleepy voice I thought "sh...t, I woke him up again - he'll kill me". I could not really hear what he was trying to say because of the noise at the railway station, so I told him I go and find the guesthouse alone. Probably he felt relieved and after telling me to call him in case I got lost, he passed out again :-)

Thanks to the great itinerary photos and descriptions, I found the guesthouse very easily, in about 15 minutes. I knocked on the door and I was allowed in by a guy who called himself James. He seemed to be a bit lost as he saw me there (probably I was too straightforward again?) but after a quick introduction I threw out everything from my backpack and prepared my training gear necessary for the evening Hombu training. Meanwhile I have learnt that there's another guy here from Israel, SH, in the other room with the airconditioner. However no sign of that guy yet.

I was thinking about going upstairs to let S. know that I am here and safe and alive, but I dared not to risk waking him up again - I thought if he was really so much concerned about my safety he would come down and check if I was here (ah, men - I am still living in a dreamland :-) )
So I decided to quickly take over the top section of the bunk bed in James' room and passed out for an hour or two.
James was kind enough to wake me up before leaving for the dojo. I just only started to come to life again when S. entered the apartment. I dunno which one of us were more surprised. He rebuked me for not calling him and he was complaining about waking up in every hour worrying where on earth I might be. Hmmm... I am not lucky with this guy. No matter how hard I try to avoid - I keep being the cause of his insomnia :-D (meow ;-)))))) ) hehe

Anyway, meanwhile I met SH too, but only for a few minutes as he did not join us that evening, so James, S and me left for Hombu at last.
The trip to there was about one hour with switching trains, which was still a bit too much for my newly-arrived woman-brain to remember, so I was quite confident that James would later on remember the way to get to Hombu.
After arriving to Hombu and entering the dojo I had to realize that there were way more foreigners there than I previously expected - there were about 70 people in that small room. I still dunno how we could fit in.
I quickly moved to a small changing room and I had to be very quick cos Soke was supposed to change there as soon as he'd arrive.
When I finished and enetered the mat area I was stopped by some unknown people who asked me if I was E. I was a bit worried about how the hell they know me while I dunno who they were. Well, forums can make you really popular :-). I went for meeting JG who looked a bit surprised when I told him who I was. I also met some other Kutaki creatures and introduced myself to DH too.

Then Soke arrived and training started. Since there were many of us there that night, we had to work on a very small place. Training itself was very relaxed and light, and full of fun. Soke was in a great mood I think. I was surprised to see how lightly and naturally we were supposed to do the techniques. Something I have really been waiting for, for long long times already, but never had the chance to practice this way. I enjoyed every single minute of the training.
In half-time there was a break and Soke started painting calligraphies. I was just watching - it was beautiful. The way he played with the brush - it was dancing in his hands. A real virtuoso. This is really an art - now I saw it. I was a bit sorry that I did not have a paper to ask for some nice writing. In that moment someone tapped my shoulder. It was Sh. sensei and told me to go and ask for a calligraphy. I told him that unfortunately I had no paper. Then he rushed into the stockroom, appeared again and put a HUGE white paper in my hands and said "go".
I could not say a word from the sudden surprise just smiled like a pumpkin - I thanked and went to Soke to ask for a calligraphy for my old dojo in my hometown.

After the break was over all the brushes, papaers and paints disappeared from the tatami and we continued training. The end of the training was approaching so Soke asked if anyone wanted to take the "Big Swing". Some guys (2 or 3) wanted so we all sat down and watched them doing it. I think they passed or maybe one of them failed.
After this training was over, we changed back to normal clothes and left.
I don't have too many memories about what happened afterwards but I guess we did not go out as we were supposed to go to attend S's trainnig next morning and Sh. sensei's afterwards.
So if my memory serves well we went back to the guesthouse and passed out. At least I did :-)

Later more... stay tuned ;-)

Twisted

Well guys, I am back.

The trip to Japan was hillarious! As I say in Hungarian: "unconsciously cool".
Sorry for not writing about my days but I'd been extremely busy with surviving and digesting all the things that I saw and learnt there.

Maybe I will write about my general experiences during this weekend. Until then I need some time to get back to my everyday workaholic life and to wait until things settle down in me.

Many things happened in Japan which turned my life upside down and put a huge amount of responsibility on me - it will probably twist things in my near environment, so now I have this "homework" to try to balance out these things. Well sometimes I think things are just happening to you irrespective of whether you go for them or not; and then you have to work with what you get in your face. You have to take the control over something which has not been under your control before. Not easy to do. Especially if it draws some socially delicate outcome after itself. I hope I won't fail - but it's time to grow up - from every aspect.

Anyhow, until I put down my experiences, try to stay cool.
Especially you, Gem of All Kungfu Masters ;-) that Sweat-Rap was coooool :-) err... hot.... errr.... whatever :-)

Off for Japan

Hi Guys,

Since I have not been able to send an e-mail to many of you before my departure, I thought I put down here a few words. It will be a very quick one as I have to leaveion an hour and I still want to have some nice Hungarian-style breakfast.

So I am off in an hour, and supposed to arrive at Narita on the 4th of August, at 9.40 a.m. local time.
Back on the 18th, and arrive to Ferihegy 2A on the 18th of August, at 22.30 p.m. local time.

I can't promise that I'll be able to check my mailbox or update this blog regularly, but I try my best.

Toshi-san, let's try to make an appointment for that Ramen lunch - more in email.

D. - Thank you very much for all the advice and support you gave me, it was a great help for planning the whole trip. If you happen to still need anything from Japan, let me know please and I bring it to Hungary and send it to you with the guys when they go to Z. for seminar again.

Mark, sorry for not writing, I've been buzzing again, just like always, you know :) Anyhow, I got the cards thanks a lot!! They are very special!! :) I'll write about them when I return :)

Take care all and have fun.

In case we could not meet again: it was a pleasure to be your friend :-)

E.

A pickle of oat in the pretty bum

Well, this is the last week I have to spend at work before leaving for the big trip.
Things are veeery calm at the moment. Way too calm, I would say.

This last weekend I visited my family in Debrecen. I especially wanted to visit them before my departure, as grandma does not look good at all. Her condition is getting worse week by week and I am not sure at all that I can see her alive again. I wish I could be there then. Anyhow, half of my mind will be with her during the trip. I love her so much, she is the best grandma one can have - an angel.

This week is dedicated to not leave anything at loose ends and to complete everything for the time when I will (hopefully) return.
Also, I am receiving not only orders but also money for outdoor tabi - so Gem of All Kungfu Masters, if you happen to read this, be prepared for having gotten rid of some tabi, which currently mess up your apartment :)

The current heat-wave is helping me in the preparation process: just like at most places in Europe, it's been terribly hot here int he past two weeks. The temperature is over 35 Celsius and I've just read that in addition a great humidity is just to come in the next few days. Anyway, I take it as a training for the climate in Japan.
This much heat that lasts for such a long time is very strange in this area. But in general, the whole year's weather has been extraordinarily strange in the past 9 months. It went crazy. Last week for example we had days with hails. The hailstones were as big as a cherry and the last one this Saturday lasted for about 20 minutes. It destroyed all the fruits that grandpa had: grape, peach, apple, everything.

As the time of my departure is approaching that pickle of oat is hurting my bum more and more. The more I fly the more I am scared of it. I would feel much safer in a jet plane, really. I hope you guys will recognize my bravery and the sacrifice I bring now: shivering in fear during the whole trip :)) hehehe. I think I'll knock myself out with some natural tranquilizer for a few hours so that I can at least sleep a bit on the plane. But see the good side: I have the highest class insurance, so at least my family gets a nice sum if anything happens :)

*sigh* anyway, enough of rambling, time to go and get the presents for some friends in Japland :)

Sun on the Danube

As you might have noticed lately I don't write too often in my blog. I have a few reasons - mainly that I don't feel too talkative. There's nothing wrong, it's just a time when I feel better staying in quiet and keeping things for myself. It is a kind of verbal solitude if I can't make the physical one this time. One needs some private space for recharging, and it is like that for me now both in private life and in training. But some of you started asking "whazzup" that I don't write, so here is a quick summary of what I'd been up to recently. However, before that, I must mention a name here: Superdan :) u asked me to put you in my blog, so see ur wish come true :) (btw, I did not forget the T-shirt, I've just been too busy to visit that shop, but will do soon! just keep praying! :))) )

Work in the Summer Uni is getting more and more relaxed, the crazy rush that was on at the beginning has almost completely chilled down. Many students and profs came, many already left; there is one more week left but the five of us already had many happy and hectic experiences, and each of us has some temporary or permanent memories of this year's work - gifts (temporary=chocolate, permanent=jewels, photos, etc) we got from our students and faculty.

Last weekend it was my turn to take a group of about 80 by ship to Szentendre, to the "Jewel of Danube".
We left Budapest at 10,30 am, arrived to Szentendre at 12, then I had let them go around on their own until 4, when we met up again at the ship and came back to Budapest, arriving at 17,30.
The trip was smooth, however once I almost got a heart attack when I saw about 10 people sitting on the very back end of the ship, over the safety parapets. I told them to get into the ship immediately unless they wanted to finish the day by getting chopped up by the propeller of the ship, but some of them pretended deaf, so I pulled out the stict Eva-mama side o my personality - that did the job (no, no bruises left). The rest of the trip was fine and everyone enjoeyd the whole day big time.

Thanks to Bobby, we have some great pictures of the trip, some are here below. Thanks Bobby! :)


Our ship, with the Royal Palace in the background, on the Buda side of the city.

"Fruit basket" - Marzipan Museum, Szentendre









"Puppy Dogs" - Marzipan Museum, Szentendre









"Houses of the Hungarian Parliament" - Marzipan Museum, Szentendre









Some guide - no, not marzipan, just plain flesh and bone, Made in Hungary













More pics to come soon...

B-day - Buddha - Boojie

This Saturday was busy, hot and awsome.

I woke up at 5.30 am to catch an early train to Budapest. It was a cruelly early time, especially as I went to bed at 2.00 am the previous night, because I've been searching for the string of my bow for hours, as I was suposed to (among others) supervise some archery on Saturday.
Anyway, I quickly threw in a cup of chocolate milk and was off for the train. 20 minutes train - 15 minutes waiting for the tram - 5 minutes tram ride and I was at the Bus Station to meet Bobby (our intern) who also wanted to come to the Dalai Lama's birthday celbration to the Buddhist Centre at Tar.
We bought the tickets, had a coffee, hopped on the bus and left Budapest. We arrived to Tar around 9.40 am, which was just in time as the event officially started at 10.00 am.

As soon as I arrived the secretary of the Community grabbed me and put some papers in my hands, indicating that I was supposed to give a speach and host the event. Although it's always been like this in the past years, this time I was pretty much surprised as I told them weeks ago that this year I'd prefer to avoid giving any speaches. Anyhow, it seems tho that representative tasks will always be left on me :-))
After the speach there was a one-hour-long ceremony with instruments, which was cool. The only one unpleasant factor was that it was terribly hot and the sun was very strong (the event took place outside, ont he top of a nice hill). After the ceremony was over, it was party-time.

Indian Bharata-Natyam dancers gave a little demo, which was very nice. In the same time at some other places professional masseurs volunteered to give different kinds of massage to those who asked for it (for free). There was thai-, music-, foot-massage, and also shiatsu.

Luckilly some other archers arrived meanwhile and they took care of teaching those who were interested in archery, so I could meet the martial arts guys and discuss the order of their demos. It was a great surprise to hear that some Boojie guys from another city came as well - I have no idea whom they discussed it with, as *I* was supposed to organize the "warriors" for this day and by my latest information they could not accept our invitation. It seems that they changed t=something in the Matrix :)) Although I did not know them, but since I had my gi with me and I felt it would have been a shame not to use this coincidence, I offered my body to them :) only as an uke for their demo of course :)) So I got paired up with their leader, a shodan.
Instead of having lunch we quickly went through the choreography, which was not a big thing, just some warming up and discussing who will do what, but nothing spectacular. When I first did the Gogyo no kata on one of the guys, they asked me if I was a student of Dean :))))) hehe, I took it as a compliment :))))

After then we went down to the bottom of the hill as the crowd was already waiting for us. It was quite hot in the black gear but despite the heat (35 Celsius) at least it was much more comfortable than wearing civil clothing. We started up with two children doing some ukemi, and after then we adults did some more advanced stuff. I had to do the Goho no kata and some play with hanbo. The guy I was paired up with did all sorts of defenses against various knife attack, and also applied some hanbo techniques. It was a big success as by the feedbacks I got later during the day. Both lama's watched it as they never seen this "violent" side of mine, and as far as I noticed my lama kind of liked it. Not that I was violent, but he also has some of this "warrior" aspect in his personality, or at least he can understand the concept of warriorship. When we finished with the demo he told me "They killed you so many times with that knife that I was about complaining and telling your opponent not to kill our girl-friend!"
So I enjoyed "working" with these Boojies, they were cool. Although they belong to another Shihan, still there was something between them and me - a feeling of belonging to the same family. Cool stuff.

There were also some Iaido guys, but I don't know - somehow they were not so convincing to me. Maybe I am too much biased for our sword techniques. I did not see much of the demos of the Kyokushinkai and Wing Chun guys. After having a big bowl of fish soup I had to go to the archers and help them out, as people kept flooding to the archery field. It's good to see how Magyars are still interested in their ancient warrior art.

It was 5 pm when I got so much sunburnt and exhausted that I decided to pack up my stuff, have a cold shower and relax a bit before leaving for home.
I went up to the guesthouse, had the shower, dressed back to civil gear, packed everything and went for finding a car that could have taken us home. We easily found it but the girl who offered her help planned to leave only in the evening, so not having to work the next day, I decided to stay and wait for her. In the meantime some Tibetan refugees asked for volunteers to teach some Tibetan dance at sunset, so I decided to join them. Well it was even more difficult to learn than performing some sophisticated kata. My feet kept fouling and could never catch when to step where. I felt so stupid, but it was a big fun :)) Lama Chopel and his Tibetan master were laughing hard about us :)

Anyway, soon it became 9 pm so we left with the girl. Got home by midnight, and she had to stay for a light late dinner and a coffee so that she would not fell asleep behind the wheel on her way back home.

It was past midnight when I went to bed and was so dead tired and exhausted that I woke up only at 11.00 am on Sunday but only because the dogs were barking too loud. So it was too late to leave for Visegrad to the Medieval Games :(

Anyway, next year, hopefully...

Medieval & Summer

Just a few words about the past one week.

SUN finally started up. Last weeked we did the student registrations at different hotels. I like it big time as this is the first time I can physically meet all those people I've been corresponding with for about 6 months. It's good to see a real flesh-bone individual behind a name. They're usually cool, arriving with overwhelming excitement and enjoying those 1-2 weeks they spend here. I also got to have a nice discussion about spiritual things with our new intern, a Bulgarian college student from Switzerland. First I was a bit hesitant to tell anything specific about my beliefs as I noticed that many people have hard time accepting things which do not fit their conceptions. But she kept asking about things and finally it turned out that she is very open minded and that we share a few interests. All in all, she's cool and in the office she can work like a madman :) she's been a great help for us.

On Monday we held a Welcome Party in a conference center for the newly arrived students and faculty - it was very pleasant. There was a short opening speach and then a Hungarian band gave a taste of some Russian jewish music. Then we all rushed up to the standing reception to stuff our bellies and afterwards it was partytime. The same band made sure we enjoyed the rest of the night. They were awsome. We all danced different folk dances. Since I had four glasses of wine before that, dancing was not a problem for me. Usually it is - Although I am musical, I tend to be shy when it gets to dancing publicly. This is something I brought from my childhood. Anywaz, I don't know how but I got into the middle of a circle and had to show what a Hungarian folkdance is like. It was cool, they all applauded for the rhythm :).
The party was good but too short - it ended at 10 p.m. That night I decided to stay at a colleague of mine as I was too tipsy to take the train alone.
The rest of the week was a bit calmer than before.

This weekend the B-day party of the Dalai Lama will be held in our centre, so I'll go there early Saturday morning to supervise some archery, and be back in the evening.
And then if I will still have some strength, I'll go to Visegrad on Sunday for the international Medieval Palace Games. It is organized every year and is a great success, a very popular event. I love Medieval age with all its arts and culture.

Hungarian horseback archers - I love this kind of warrior guys - they make me melt all-over :) Well, okay, I admit: all old-style warriors do :)

Vital sign

Yeah back again, after some hiatus.
I've been terribly busy in the past few weeks - as a friend says: I've been buzzing like a bee.
Crazyhouse started at work and will be like this until the last week of July. Overtime and overtime and weekend shifts and overtime again - it does not leave too much of spare time in my hands. What is more: it makes the preparation for my next kyu test a real challenge, as I can just only tear myself out from work for trainings. Practising myself solo at home is beyond any possibilites at the moment.
So although I though this upcoming test will be an easy one - I started to entertain doubts about it.

I painfully suck with hanbo, it seems that everything I learnt and new before I forgot by now. I get it in my hands and just can't do anything with it, I feel completely burnt out and clueless. I think it is because I am exhausted but then again the question arises: what kind of knowledge was that which disappeares when one gets tired and exhausted? Very questionable knowledge. Anyway, we'll see what I can bring out from this.


Toshi-san was here again and left a week ago. It seems that it was the last time he could come to Hungary and the last time for us to meet and talk. We went to a Japanese garden on one of the islands in the Duna river in Budapest. I thought I would show it to him and I also wanted to see it again as the last time I saw it was a few years ago. It's however been a great disappointment. It was dirty and dark and it looked like noone really took care of the garden. It's a shame. Toshi-san also shit-scared me while we've been walking in there at night: he pointed at some big dark something in front of us and said: "look, isn't that a dead man?" I made a perfect yoko tobi and then of course we laughed hard, it was funny how I got scared of that big branch that broke off a tree and looked like someone was laying on the ground.
Toshi-san finally left Hungary on Saturday morning, and as I knew it's been the last time we saw each-other, and I had to go to work anyway, we met for a last breakfast in the city centre before he left for the airport. Limited time and knowing that it's the last time we can talk made it really special. It's been always very good to meet and talk to him and I think a cool light friendship has developed between the two of us.
This time I was especially glad as I think I managed to handle the fact of loosing a friend with a good attitude. Instead of the sorrow, I felt happiness over having been able to share many pleasant hours and that we could have great conversations for that short time that life gave for the two of us. It took some work from my side but did worth! I think this is freedom on some way.

Now I am working with full blast at my office so that I can make it to Japan in a month with no unarranged issues behind. Surfing on the net does not really fit in my schedule nowadays, so if I owe you any kind of response in email or any other way: please bear with some more patience, I will write, but a bit later.

Thanks guys, and enjoy the summer!

Black Hawk down here

Last afternoon as I was peacefully coding a site in my downtown office, with headphones on and listening to Evanescence with full volume, I heard some strange low lumbering that started putting down the music. "Wtf" I thought and looked out of the window and I thought there was something wrong with my eyes - it was a Black Hawk, circulating above the district. "Cool, US put its paws onto this country as well" - I thought.

Well of course the situation was not this fatal, it's just that George W. Bush is coming to Budapest on Wednesday for a short visit and leaves on Thursday.

So all the public transportation -which has not been so bright until now anyway- will be messed up in the downtown, it will be a complete chaos because of just one individual. The full length of the road between Ferihegy Airport and the downtown will be closed when Air Force One lands and takes off. It means that even the firefighters and ambulance can not use these roads - it was however promised that "nobody's life will be in danger because of Bush's life". I doubt it - to be sarcastic. There used to be a "Taxi-drivers' blockade" in 1990 and it lasted for 3 days. Taxi drivers closed up all the roads in the country and they promised that ambulance and firefighters will have free way, but it did not work and some people died because they could not reach the hospital in time because of the blockade.

Also, the schedules of the trains and public transportation will be changed for these two days. Travel agencies have been "recommended" not to organize sightseeing tours to any of the major touristic spots of Budapest during these two days. :-P~~~ "bloooah"

He will be accompanied by 600 hangers-on (holy cow) and security service will be given by 2000, including bodyguards, bomb experts, snipers on the top of the buildings here - I am thinking about going up to one of them and offering some ice-tea in this heat. I wonder if they would appreciate it :-)) hehe, I don't think so :)))

Yesterday their C-5 Galaxy military carrier plane arrived to Ferihegy Airport, bringing all the battlewagons and security equipment (bomb detectors, security gates) to be installed by the time the Very Important Pfff arrives.

I saw a documentary film about this plane not long ago - it's incredible what it knows. I am curious how much it crushed the concrete of the runway, as it was not designed for such huge monstrums.

Some civil organisations organised demonstration for the time of his stay (because of the Iraqi war, because of not signing the Kyoto Agreement - just to mention a few reasons). I pretty much agree with them. As it is said: "The world is a dangerous place - not because of those who are evil, but because of those who don't do anything against it".

Devil's training

I owed this training to devil last night.

My instructor's style is quite tough which probably comes from the fact that he works for the "special services" unit and whenever there is trouble, they're called.
Thus his style is quite realistic which does not allow us to lull ourselves into the thought of that what we do during training is just playing a game.
Whenever we make a mistake he shows us why it could be lethal or at least dangerous for ourselves.

I have a real problem with hitting properly while just practicing. I can hit normally during a free fight, but I can't do the same movement slowly while practising. Just the whole movement is wrong when I try to do it slowly (and no matter how much I practice on the huge hitting-bag hanging from the ceiling in the gym of my Uni).
A. always brings it on when he sees me imitating a straight punch - once a week for sure, and it's been on like this in the past two years or so.
I have been trying to fix it - that's why I started hitting the sack too - but it seems that I am doing something painfully wrong. Not to mention that I am still very clumsy with my left.

Last night A. misused me again badly for this, emphasising (mildly said) that it is a mistake that should not be allowed at my level, and that attending seminars of different instructors won't help me any if I can't do even this basic thing, and that I should understand that what I do is wrong and work more on this.

And that was it for me - I arrived to training dead tired from working 12 hours nearly every day; I've been practising diligently - BJK is the base of my everyday life -; been trying to fix my movement for years obviously with no satisfying result and I get these hard words into my face, a good part of which I think just was not right. I think I ruined the image of the tough woman they had about me when I fell a crying - I tried to hold it back but I did not manage to, it was just too much together with all the things going on recently.

I have never - since 13-14 years ago when I started this training - tipped out from criticism, at least not to the point of crying in front of others in the dojo. But this time it completely flooded me and I could not resist. I understood what he pointed out, it was just bad that all the time and effort I have put into working on this clumsiness was ignored - it seems at least.

When he saw that I was kind of K.O. -ed, he went mild and explained that he wants only good for me, and that he has to hurt me with words too after a while, because normal teaching methods don't work with me with regards to punching. Yeah I know, he was right, and I agree with this method 'cos I know myself enough to know that I need very short leads and strict methods otherwise I'll just get out of hand. It was just too powerful and tough now.

After discussing it there was a break and I went to the bathroom and let the tension come out - that sobbing helped, so I joined them again after a while.

I understand now why are there only so few women and so rarely in our dojo. Sooner or later they all leave. Not only because we do things realistically - but also because the way we are taught is mentally tough too (beside that generally it is a fun environment and it's a very good team). Female soul is a very fragile thing.

It seems that I am the only female who survived here throughout the years on a long run and if it is up to me, I will still stay for a good while because A. is a very good instructor and he can still teach me so many things. It was just one of those days...

Beautiful me

Yesterday I saw an inetersting pragmatic documentary about the latest trends of beauty industry and how much need there is for the exclusive treatments they offer.
The film was focusing on anti-aging products and threatment methods and also on the market.

It says American women tend to have the most beautiful skin, however not because of their genes, but because of all the treatments they get. Botox injections under the eyes, in the lips, golden strings sewn into the skin of the face in order to stimulate the blood supply of the skin... whoaa... even the sound of these gives me the creeps. It said that America has the greatest need for plastic surgery - some of the clients start having injections in the age of 18-20. It is just unbelieveable!!

It also discussed the problem of modells - beauty companies have their products advertised with young 15-18 years old (young) girls, who of course have perfect skin (some retouching with PhotoShop can also work wonders). Also, these girls are very tall and extremely thin (I call them stickletti-girls), and by placing them in the foreground in different types of media (like magazines, advertisements on TV) , they suggest to the wide public that a normal woman is like these girls. Of course everyone knows that it is not true. I asked many male friends of mine about their opinion on what a good woman is like, and nearly 95 % of them said that they like those who are a bit "padded", as they like if there are things to touch/grab :).

I personally really like the recent ads of Dove, where they use real women to advertise their products. There should be more like this. Yeah I know they are also profit-oriented, but still they most likely have the most woman-friendly campaign now.

I consider myself lucky for not being too thin and for being moderately padded :)
I also think a woman nturally needs to have some padding to stay healthy. Obviously I don't mean 20-30 kg of overweight, just some "hills" here and there.