Devil's training
I owed this training to devil last night.
My instructor's style is quite tough which probably comes from the fact that he works for the "special services" unit and whenever there is trouble, they're called.
Thus his style is quite realistic which does not allow us to lull ourselves into the thought of that what we do during training is just playing a game.
Whenever we make a mistake he shows us why it could be lethal or at least dangerous for ourselves.
I have a real problem with hitting properly while just practicing. I can hit normally during a free fight, but I can't do the same movement slowly while practising. Just the whole movement is wrong when I try to do it slowly (and no matter how much I practice on the huge hitting-bag hanging from the ceiling in the gym of my Uni).
A. always brings it on when he sees me imitating a straight punch - once a week for sure, and it's been on like this in the past two years or so.
I have been trying to fix it - that's why I started hitting the sack too - but it seems that I am doing something painfully wrong. Not to mention that I am still very clumsy with my left.
Last night A. misused me again badly for this, emphasising (mildly said) that it is a mistake that should not be allowed at my level, and that attending seminars of different instructors won't help me any if I can't do even this basic thing, and that I should understand that what I do is wrong and work more on this.
And that was it for me - I arrived to training dead tired from working 12 hours nearly every day; I've been practising diligently - BJK is the base of my everyday life -; been trying to fix my movement for years obviously with no satisfying result and I get these hard words into my face, a good part of which I think just was not right. I think I ruined the image of the tough woman they had about me when I fell a crying - I tried to hold it back but I did not manage to, it was just too much together with all the things going on recently.
I have never - since 13-14 years ago when I started this training - tipped out from criticism, at least not to the point of crying in front of others in the dojo. But this time it completely flooded me and I could not resist. I understood what he pointed out, it was just bad that all the time and effort I have put into working on this clumsiness was ignored - it seems at least.
When he saw that I was kind of K.O. -ed, he went mild and explained that he wants only good for me, and that he has to hurt me with words too after a while, because normal teaching methods don't work with me with regards to punching. Yeah I know, he was right, and I agree with this method 'cos I know myself enough to know that I need very short leads and strict methods otherwise I'll just get out of hand. It was just too powerful and tough now.
After discussing it there was a break and I went to the bathroom and let the tension come out - that sobbing helped, so I joined them again after a while.
I understand now why are there only so few women and so rarely in our dojo. Sooner or later they all leave. Not only because we do things realistically - but also because the way we are taught is mentally tough too (beside that generally it is a fun environment and it's a very good team). Female soul is a very fragile thing.
It seems that I am the only female who survived here throughout the years on a long run and if it is up to me, I will still stay for a good while because A. is a very good instructor and he can still teach me so many things. It was just one of those days...
My instructor's style is quite tough which probably comes from the fact that he works for the "special services" unit and whenever there is trouble, they're called.
Thus his style is quite realistic which does not allow us to lull ourselves into the thought of that what we do during training is just playing a game.
Whenever we make a mistake he shows us why it could be lethal or at least dangerous for ourselves.
I have a real problem with hitting properly while just practicing. I can hit normally during a free fight, but I can't do the same movement slowly while practising. Just the whole movement is wrong when I try to do it slowly (and no matter how much I practice on the huge hitting-bag hanging from the ceiling in the gym of my Uni).
A. always brings it on when he sees me imitating a straight punch - once a week for sure, and it's been on like this in the past two years or so.
I have been trying to fix it - that's why I started hitting the sack too - but it seems that I am doing something painfully wrong. Not to mention that I am still very clumsy with my left.
Last night A. misused me again badly for this, emphasising (mildly said) that it is a mistake that should not be allowed at my level, and that attending seminars of different instructors won't help me any if I can't do even this basic thing, and that I should understand that what I do is wrong and work more on this.
And that was it for me - I arrived to training dead tired from working 12 hours nearly every day; I've been practising diligently - BJK is the base of my everyday life -; been trying to fix my movement for years obviously with no satisfying result and I get these hard words into my face, a good part of which I think just was not right. I think I ruined the image of the tough woman they had about me when I fell a crying - I tried to hold it back but I did not manage to, it was just too much together with all the things going on recently.
I have never - since 13-14 years ago when I started this training - tipped out from criticism, at least not to the point of crying in front of others in the dojo. But this time it completely flooded me and I could not resist. I understood what he pointed out, it was just bad that all the time and effort I have put into working on this clumsiness was ignored - it seems at least.
When he saw that I was kind of K.O. -ed, he went mild and explained that he wants only good for me, and that he has to hurt me with words too after a while, because normal teaching methods don't work with me with regards to punching. Yeah I know, he was right, and I agree with this method 'cos I know myself enough to know that I need very short leads and strict methods otherwise I'll just get out of hand. It was just too powerful and tough now.
After discussing it there was a break and I went to the bathroom and let the tension come out - that sobbing helped, so I joined them again after a while.
I understand now why are there only so few women and so rarely in our dojo. Sooner or later they all leave. Not only because we do things realistically - but also because the way we are taught is mentally tough too (beside that generally it is a fun environment and it's a very good team). Female soul is a very fragile thing.
It seems that I am the only female who survived here throughout the years on a long run and if it is up to me, I will still stay for a good while because A. is a very good instructor and he can still teach me so many things. It was just one of those days...
2 comments:
I don't think Atilla was too hard on you but rather that you are too hard on yourself. Reflect back on the progress you made in the past. Nobody is perfect, no matter how hard you train :-D
Wax on, Wax off (leghair removal commercial)
:-D
JR
I try so hard to be perfect, but it seems that I'll always be this "defected" :-D
Waxing! Oh, waxing is not that easy either, I still can't do it for myself. :-)
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