Almost there...
It's almost Christmas. I've finished with packing all the Honey-bread cookies and the few gifts I will give to a few people.
In the past few years however Christmas Eve's and days were a bit lonesome despite that there are always people around me who call them my family. Yeah I know it sounds strange but recently my lonely wolf nature came to light more strongly. Sometimes I just want to be left alone, in peace, with noone around me.
It's strange but I miss me, and with it something else as well. I know it sounds strange but this is the best way to describe it. That's me.
Anyway, I will give the presents happily to those whom I respect, because I love to see them happy, and I like to see that I could actually do something that makes them feel good. I start it tomorrow by Cs. and me visiting mom and greeting her. Then the day after tomorrow we go to my hometown to visit a few people from my old family. I am sure I'll get the bashing again from grandpa for why I did not go to a Law School (he's so unbearably conservative and old stylish sometimes). Also, visiting dad and configuring the net for him. My sis, her child and my bro will come to our grandparents, so at least they'll also make some effort to meet us, not only we, like always.
So as you see, I have a nice number of people in my family.
In the past few years however Christmas Eve's and days were a bit lonesome despite that there are always people around me who call them my family. Yeah I know it sounds strange but recently my lonely wolf nature came to light more strongly. Sometimes I just want to be left alone, in peace, with noone around me.
It's strange but I miss me, and with it something else as well. I know it sounds strange but this is the best way to describe it. That's me.
Anyway, I will give the presents happily to those whom I respect, because I love to see them happy, and I like to see that I could actually do something that makes them feel good. I start it tomorrow by Cs. and me visiting mom and greeting her. Then the day after tomorrow we go to my hometown to visit a few people from my old family. I am sure I'll get the bashing again from grandpa for why I did not go to a Law School (he's so unbearably conservative and old stylish sometimes). Also, visiting dad and configuring the net for him. My sis, her child and my bro will come to our grandparents, so at least they'll also make some effort to meet us, not only we, like always.
So as you see, I have a nice number of people in my family.
Still I feel so alone... :'( It'd be so good to tell about my feelings to somebody, but there's no such person and the burden is getting heavier every year. Good that I have this blog, at least I can write out some of it. A little part.
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