KKSR Seminar with D

We had a seminar with D this weekend. It was of course about KKSR Ryu.
We took like 2-2 techniques from shoden, chuden and okuden levels and have been examining them and their different henkas.
These were basically, Kataho, Kubiwa,Yume Makura, Tobi Chiga, Tatsu Nami, Fusetsu, Kaeshi waza and there were a few more which's names I don't remember at the moment, but we were not bored.
We did lots and lots of henkas this time and what I really liked was that now we were given the freedom to "explore" the techniques for ourselves. I always learn more effectively when I am allowed to explore things alone.

D emphasized that although this year's theme is that of an "armored ryuha", it is now important for us with no armour on, to move by the principles of the ryuha but in the same time preserving our natural movement. So to adapt your movements to not wearing armour.
He also talked a bit about the history and the importance of the Densho.
He said although the teachings are available for "everyone", they are still hidden, because they do not write about the spiritual and psychological parts, and therefore the teachings cannot be understood if there is no proper background knowledge behind it.
This is the only thing that makes them secret - the secret is in you, in your own perception and not on the scrolls.

I enjoyed this seminar again and probably even more than the previous seminars - I don't know why. There were a lot of Croatian visitors this time - as I see more and more of them are coming each year, which I really like. I find it a bit awkward that we are learning from the same instructor and while we all are his students we do not know each other. It is time to open towards each-other.

Strange but on Sunday after the seminar finished I did not feel exhausted at all, neither physically nor mentally. It felt that it was still just the middle of the seminar and was a bit of a sudden to close it down so quickly. But probably it was just my feeling. So I enjoyed it very very much.
Unfortunately I got injured again (I am starting to think that there is some problem with how I train) - once a tanto run into my left calf, injuring only the skin but bruising the muscle badly. Also the same calf was bruised badly by continuous gedan blocks. Oh and not to mention that once the tsuka of a boken hit my chin and split it open a bit. Was bleeding badly but no serious injury was made there luckilly.
I am a walking disaster during seminars. (But the training in Japan was surprizingly safe :-) )

Anyhow, there is one more thing that I managed to conclude from this seminar: this year's theme is soo huge that probably 2-3 years would be needed to be able to cover everything that is written in the Densho.
It seems to be so hopeless to ever learn everything that is in the curriculum.

Dating

Yesterday I hade a "date" with Cs, he invited me to a teahouse - but it was me who chose the place. I suggested to go to the "Cave of the Green Turtle", which is run by one of the Hungarian ex- pop-stars, who btw wrote a song which's title was "Sad Samurai" (it is quite a moldy one if you ask me :-) ). He is also said to have tea houses with the same name in New York and Tokio. Maybe I'll drop by in August when I am in Japan :-)

Anyway, we had some special spicy tea, I had a bacon toast and Cs some chocolate cookies - and then we started to talk. About all sorts of emotional and spiritual issues that we have been going through recently. Although we get on very well and live well with each other, some serious issues are still not solved yet, even tho I tried to apply the good old "patience, time will solve it" method. But it seems that some things just do not work that way.
We still agree on that after I return from Japan and I get financially in balance again I need to go away for a little while which will be a sort of "retreat" for me, so that I can rearrange my thoughts and my feelings and see if I want to live in a relationship at all or if I want to live alone. Beside my need for an understanding and manly partner, I am quite a lone wolf too, which means that private sphere would be very important for me - it has always been. I need to disappeare from the world time to time for a longer or shorter period of time and to be alone.
I have always been like that.

This "retreat" will be a sort of mental rehabilitation for me, and I can also try out what single life is like. I have never lived alone - as soon as I finished highschool at 18, I left my parents' house and moved to Cs and his parents' house so that we can be together, as we lived a few hundred kilometers away from each other. Now I am turning into 32 in October. 14 years - too much.

I really think that in order to live a healthy life as an adult you need to be able to stand on your own feet without support. I have never had to do that and I think it is not healthy. I have to be able to survive alone too, and not only physically but emotinally too. And if it goes well, only then you can live a healthy life and have a healthy relationship.

The way things are now is everything but balanced and good, and I feel it is getrting worse and worse as years go by. I have already been thinking about jumping into the baby-project as well in order to "tame" myself, hoping that once the baby is there my attention will completely turn towards the baby, the family and my wanderer-mind chills down. But giving it more thoughts I am more and more afraid that even this would not help and I would just create a prison for myself, at the end of which the child would pull the shorter match. And also Cs. said - and I agree with him - that you cannot make a baby just to use him/her for your own interest, that is real selfishness and there will be no true love towards that living being. So I deeply agree that by having a baby I would probably just cause more problems for myself now.

I am hoping that this retreat will help me a lot and what I really want will lastly get revealed for myself too.

It is good that I can discuss things like this with Cs. and that he understands and lets me go away for a while. What is more - he encourages me to do this. You can very rarely find this attitude in your partner in a "general" relationship, because they usually take it as a sort of personal offense, or at least they think you have a problem with them. While the problem is usually inside (in one's self) and not outside (in the environment or people around you).

I am lucky to have a serious spiritual practicioner as a partner, because he can rise above his own interest and can see and accept when unconventional solutions are needed for a problem.

On happiness

"Happiness starts when you stop seeking your own happiness in order to try to make someone else happy."

His Holiness the XIV. Dalai Lama

Hot shots

I finally managed to upload some photos from my phone to my pc.
Here are a few good pics. Click them for a larger view.

Enjoy...

Hannya mask
I have brought it from Japan in August 2006.
I love evil looking things :-)





One of my training spots

This is the place in Budapest where I usually train on Saturdays, when the weather is good. I love when squirrels are jumping and running above me on the trees :-P

My nephew

This pic was taken by my sister when both my nephew and me fell asleep at grandma's house in Debrecen.

Spooky land
Another training place at the end of the field near where I live.
Sometimes I come here for a long walk or run when the weather is good - this pic was shot in december or January.
At the edge of the road next to the canes there is a little stream - I sometimes sit down there and watch the frogs, ducks and pheasants. Very peaceful place.

Blooming Winter
The same place, same season, a bit closer perspective :-)

Revival

This is the same place (and maybe the same bush :-) )
It was shot last weekend when I was there for a walk.

Bored? Partake in riots!

Yesterday I had to go to Budapest to visit mom. She asked me to dig up her garden.
Since it was an important national holiday and based on the October 23rd demonstrations there were severe riots expected for this day again, I decided to go early in the morning. The most serious riots in October happened late in the afternoons and during the nights.
Budapest was all silent yesterday and the streets were completely empty. I had no trouble on my way, and soon after my arrival to the other end of Budapest I changed to working clothes and started digging.

Mom has a small garden, like 180 sqr meters, and I had to dig up around 150 sqr meters. The soil was loose thanks to the rains last week, so it went fairly quickly. I finished in about 3 hours, because I also had to remove blocks of concrete from the garden.
She made fried chicken and pancakes until I was working and by the time I finished I really wanted that chicken to somehow fly into my stomach. So I exterminated the meat and the pancakes with no mercy. Hmm.. the lunch was yummy.
In the afternoon I chopped some wood so that she can heat in case of a cold weather, and I also had to move some old wardrobes and cupboards from the house to the shed in the other end of the garden. Shame on the men living next to her, none of them offered me any help - but I did not need help anyway, it was a good strength training. It's good to see that I am not a weak jelly.

Anyhow, after finishing the hard physical stuff I had to install some games on her computer and I also checked the news portals for news about what was going on in the downtown of Budapest, as I was supposed to go home from the railway station which is in the heart of the downtown.
I saw in the News on the TV that although the commemoration ceremonies went very well and peacefully in the city during the whole day, by around 6 p.m. some hooligans started riots again, just like in October. It was something expected.
So watching the news I tried to make up plans for the route back to reach the Railway Station without trouble.

I saw on the TV that the situation got worse in every half an hour so I thought that if I ever want to get home, I should not wait any longer. I left mom's house at 7 p.m. It took about half an hour by bus until I reached the tram which took me along the "Great Boulevard" in the heart of the city, at the end of which the Railway Station is located.
The tram however was stopped at Blaha square, which is an important interchange, because the police closed down the way further along towards the railway station because of the riots.
So in order to not get into trouble I decided to go back a few stops on the same tram line and take the metro which also stopped at the railway station. I got to the railway station in a few minutes, checked the next train and as I saw that I had about 20 minutes left till my train's departure I decided to find a shop open to get some drink. I found only a non-stop kiosk so I bought a Light Coke and decided to stand outside at the entrance of the station and take some fresh air until it'll be time to catch the train. Everything was very peaceful until that point.
Although there were crowds on the street, everyone was calm and in a good mood.

After like 2 minutes I noticed that a very solid crowd was streaming from the direction of that part of the Great Boulevard where my tram was previously stopped. These were mostly young people, a lot of bald guys with worked out body, wearing scarf and hood or ski mask, but I also saw some middle aged people, mainly men shouting and waving national flags.
To my greatest surprise I saw a lot of foreigners (mainly from the slav areas) on the streets and I have no idea what the heck they were doing there - the recent demonstrations were none of their business, so I guess they just wanted to have some fun and see something extraordinary happening.

Anyway, as I was standing there watching the crowd I suddenly heard sharp bangs and sounds like when small rockets or fireworks are launched. I saw some lightning things flying in the air and they released some smoke. It was tear gas shot by the police. I pulled back a little, just enough to cover my head with the roof of the building in case a grenade landed nearby but still close enough to see what was happening.
The crowd started running away while shouting some assorted swearings - seemingly the police was pushing them into our direction. Then the tear gas "rockets" stopped for a while (I did not feel the smell) and the crowd stopped again, but the hard core of the crowd was already in front of the railway station.
Then another wave of tear gas grenades came and it did not want to stop, so as I saw wilder and wilder demonstrators arriving from that direction, I suspected that the police unit should be very close, so I quickly turned around and took my way to catch my train, which was also due anyway.
I smoothly catched my train and arrived home.

I saw that after this night Hungary was again in the headlines of some of the main News Agencies, and it does not shed a good light on the country.
Not because of the demonstrations. Majority of the people want and can demonstrate normally, peacefully against all the things that happened in the Hungarian politics in the past 17 years. I even agree with their views.
But the violence caused by some hooligans who feel bored and theye have no better game than playing "riots" on a long weekend - it cannot and must not be tolerated, in my opinion.
And when the police takes the necessary steps, people shout dictatorship and oppression, just because they are not allwed to destruct or attack others (like throwing cobbles at the policemen) as they like.
I am personally very much agree with the police standing up against this wave of violence firmly at long last. This crazy violence simply serves channelling the tension by causing a lot of financial damage and endangering the lives of others.
It is very annoying that every single night like this costs like 30-50 million Forints for the city or for the country.

And I did not even talk about the moral loss that they cause for the country.

It used to be a very peaceful country, and Budapest was the moral and cultural elite of the whole country. Now this is the most problematic city. It is a spot of shame...
I wonder when will these immature football hoolingas grow out of this behaviour. I hope this "childern's illness" of the democracy in Hungary will not last for too long.

Baaad timing

Hmm... talk about timing.

Yesterday I wrote an email to J san asking him to find out what might have happened to the order that I sent to H dojo early January, as my guys will soon need the membership cards for this year.
I sent him all the detailes and he promised to look into it.
And just this morning the neighbour came with an envelope that has arrived from H dojo for my name but was thrown in their postbox yesterday. Cool :-(.
I feel extremly awkward that I've been waiting for one month then another three weeks went by with postponing to send the enquiry, and just when I finally decided to ask about the order, the envelope arrives to my neighbour on the very same day when I send the email. Anyway, I sent a mail of cancellation to J san - I think now I managed to make a complete clown of myself.
It's so unpleasant...

Why rare entries?

The other night coming home from training I. and me talked about my blog, and he said he has not seen it since a week ago or so. I told him he did not loose too much 'cos I don't post too often, when he asked why.

Well there are certainly many things that happen to me between two posts, but as you see I post rarely, like weekly or so, and even then I do not always write about significant things. Why? Because I like to wait and see how my thoughts on particular subjects evolve until they kind of reach their more or less final form. I "Black Pijama" friend of mine taught me how important the timing is not only in training, but in life as well, and ever since I applied what I learned from him, I have never regretted that.

So yes, there are deeper thoughts in me, and as soon as it will be time for it, I'll share those thoughts with you, too.
I am sure you will be able to recognize those posts :-)

Ticket to Japan

This week things speeded up a bit with regards to organizing the trip.

At the moment it seems that I will bring 5 people with me and there is one more who is quite unsure. I have the feeling that he won't come. You know, you can just "smell" it from how things are not matching.

I got the money for the airplane ticket from three people and I also have the money for mine already.
There is just one more thing to wait for: to see whether or not I. and B. can come. I. is a borderguard officer (as well as working for another institution too) and they will have a meeting on Monday, when he will know for sure whether or not he can take his annual holiday in August for two weeks.
If he cannot take it, he won't come, and probably B. won't come either. I told B. that it is an exceptional opportunity to see HS moving and teaching. Who knows if she'll be able to see him later in the future? Anyway, she'll have to decide it for herself.
K., the Iranian guy is coming with us also - I hope he will get the visa. Now I am waiting for Kungfu Master to send the confirmation of accommodation back to us so K. can go and apply for the visa.

Anyhow, I have to buy the tickets this coming week by any means. Although we have a booking for Aeroflot, I really don't want to fly with them, so I am trying to make a booking for KLM or Lufthansa or maybe for Finnair. It won't be an easy thing - all the cheap tickets are sold out already. It will be a miracle if we find 5-6 tickets in the cheaper category.

Thoughts

These days we go through the Kihon Happo again. It is strange to realize how much I enjoy it. I was a bit neutral with it in the past because I did not see on what way could practising Kihon Happo again and again improve my skills.
But in the past few months it completely turned the other way around. I see so many possibilities there, so many things to explore. I think that now it started to come to live in me. I see what a "brilliant" it can be if one takes the effort to keep polishing this diamond. The more I want to develop the deeper I need to explore Kihon Happo.


I. told me today at training that I should continue putting down some thoughts of mine that he would publish on the dojo's site.
Well, I do not know. Although I often contemplate on questions regarding Budo, life, philosophy and such, I am a bit reluctant about publishing them. This blog is a different issue - I put down my thoughts partly for myself and partly for you in case you were interested what's up with me.
But publishing my thoughts on the dojo's site is something that I am not sure about.
In majority of the cases people here are not open enough, so they cannot understand what I think or cannot accept it, and I am too lazy to give a better explanation... you know "why to force?"
So I prefer not writing anything for them at all.
I already wrote a few sentences about the "Big Swing" because people kept asking about that, so I have put down how useless it is to discuss who feels what during the test. But even after this I have heard back some negative opinions, such as I started distributing the "wit", and things like these. So it really makes me think twice before I publish any thoughts here.