A pinch of responsibility

I was asked to hold the first part of yesterday's training because IR was supposed to be late, due to their military-exhibition at the Expo. I left my office half an hour earlier so that I can be there in time and start the training. A few minutes before 5.30 pm IR arrived so at the end the training started up normally. However after the warmup and ukemi part he asked me to take over the group while he pulled aside with one of the beginners who was supposed to take his test in a week.

Since all the guys were complete beginners (except for B who's an ikkyu), I tought it was a perfect opportunity to go through the very basics, like kamae and the basic punches.

We did Ichimonji and Ihen no kamae, the transition from one into the other, and also covered Fudo ken, Omote and Ura Shuto, Boshi ken. We also started learning jodan uke. The guys are all good and enthusiastic.

There are two guys who came about two weeks ago with their incredible idea of what a ninja is like. Also, they have a little problem behaving the way they should in the dojo. They tend to think that everything is allowed (even refusing to do what the instructor tells them to) just 'cos the athmosphere is friendly. But soon some kento and long minutes spent in Ichimonji made it clear to them that they're there for learning and not for having fun. Yesterday one of them was missing (I wonder if it's permanent or temporary :-) ), but the other guy seems to take training seriously. We'll see.

There's also one guy who has serious difficulties with his movement-coordination, but he is unbelieveably diligent and motivated. So I'll have to pay some extra attention to him.

Also, I spoke a few words about my present situation, not going too deeply into details as first of all, given that they're complete beginners, they're not familiar with how things are in Bujinkan. Second, because I don't want anyone to form any negative opinion about anybody affected in this issue. I told them that I don't know for how long I am staying, and the other day I also asked them to not call me "Sensei", but call me on my name instead.

Anyway, IR is kind of throwing me in the "deep water" sometimes, when he asks me to take over the group for a while. At least that's what I feel. Maybe it does not hurt because since then I've recognized a few things in my own taijutsu that I have to work on. Also, it's a good insight to see what it is like when people expect a certain level of knowledge and guidance at this rank.

One thing even now I know for sure: whatever rank I will ever get from this point on, I will never make it public, not even in my own circle of friends. It may be understood as a kind of "escape" from responsibility, but it's rather that:

• I don't want people to treat me the way they do because of the rank I have. I want them to like me for myself and to be my friend because I am who I am

• I want to preserve the privilege to be allowed to learn and to be a student, and not always expected to do everything perfectly. I don't envy the very high level instructors. If a person with their rank makes some mistake (just because we are all humans), they're judged much more than "everyday" people. They're kind automatically put on a pedestal.

One of my friends (S.) does it very well. Noone (except for a very few people I think) knows his actual rank. We just know that he took the "Big Swing" about 6-7 years ago or so. Now I understand why he did not make it public and I very much agree with it. (Btw, S, what's your rank? :-D )

Concerning the training group that is supposed to start up in January: I still need to discuss some details with my very first instructor. It was his idea to start the group and asked me to help in that. I don't know how my life will be, but it's very likely that I will go abroad in a year for work, so we really have to clarify what kind of role he was counting with for me in the prospective dojo.