It's my life

This morning Cs and I had a passionate discussion about having a family vs. not having.

If I look around in my near environment, I see the normal everyday Hungarian families where both parents live in a treadwheel.

Given that the financial situation is very far from good in this country, if you want to have a flat and if you don't have a rich relative from whom you could inherite an immovable, your only possibility to obtain a flat is taking a huge bank loan with really bad conditions. For 20-25 years the monthly installments of repaying the loan takes at least 50% of your salary. It means that you will be (almost literary speaking) a slave of the bank for 20-25 years. 95% of people put themselves into this yoke, but this is one thing that I am not willing to do.

The other thing is the child. I am really getting more and more annoyed and tired of hearing people asking me about my plans about having children. When I tell them "No thanks, maybe later", they keep bugging me bringing up my age and such stupid justification as "A child is important, that's the point of life". Well, thanks but I absolutely do not share this view.

Call me immature or deviant, but I honestly think that first: I have enough probles even without a kid, so I don't think I should make loads more for myself. Secondly: I don't want to put myself into a really miserable financial situation at these unstable times. Third: I really think many of those who think they are ready to bring up another life, are really not ready as a person. Honestly: how do you want to take the responsibility of bringing up another human being when you do not know even yourself? Honestly: do you know yourself? Can you trust your knowledge about life? I really think majority of the populatin is just too quick jumping into this child project. At least in Hungary. Here every 2nd marriage ends up with divorce. And I did not mention ruined marriages where the parents don't divorce just because the child is there. People jump into these decisions too quickly, without being honest to themselves and thinking it over thoroughly.

And the fourth reason: I know that I may sound very selfish and such, but I really don't want to loose different opportunities to get involved in what I like. Training, travelling freely if I want, going out when I want, just to mention a few. I think having a child would cross over all these least for a few years. No thanks, it does not worth for me.

That's why I did not jump into this flat project yet and that's why I don't have child either and I less and less intend to have one. That's what I think now. And what future brings? Who knows?

But I would really appreciate if people could leave me alone with this question. Like our neighbour. The other day we took the same train and she asked when on Earth I want to have child, as I am already turning into 32. I really had to restrain myself not to say something rude. I really hate when people or society "expect" things from me and thus they feel justified to intrude into my private life.

Also, at the beginnings when my parents started mentioning this issue I told them about my views firmly. It seems tho that they did not get this hint, so when they kept bugging me for longer and again and again, after a while I simply told them: "If you want to have a grandchild, solve it yourself. I don't want to ruin my life."

I really hate this kind of speach but nothing else works.

Since then they never mentioned it :-D